linoleum knife

ok ive calmed down since my last post about not getting my visa so i can take the time to explain what happened in more detail now. i did in fact get rejected for my visa renewal. and i did in fact cry in front of all of the visa office workers at the very end..all of my stress, frustration, and defeat completely overwhelming me at that moment..... but, it didnt work. those germans are tough and no amount of girly tears would make them budge. i had insufficient health insurance, and they sent me away with a 2 month extension and instructions to get new (twice as expensive) insurance and bring back that paperwork on january 19th. and hopefully when i go back in january, everything else will be fine and i will be able to get my goddamn piece of paper in my passport. ass monkeys

i would also like to remind you that if you, or a friend of yours is dreaming about spending christmas and new years in this city, you should rent my room because it will be available (awesome fat kitty included) from december 7th- january 7th. you will rent my room....you will give me your money.....

heres the view from my window, with all the great fall colors. it gets dark at 4pm now. thats so depressing. and the way my cat snores really scares me


merlin is by far the best show, my favorite show ever, everything i could possible dream about in an escape from reality, and im so grateful to the bbc for creating such a masterpiece. and now i want to go back to cornwall and glastonbury even more...(i watched the entire first season right before i went the first time in july)

doing my "pre-reading" and studying for when i go back to school is harder than i imagined because now i am forced to develop firm stances on things that i could never decide upon. and im discovering new theories that just completely throw me for a loop and make me rethink everything. i spend all of my free time reading things that make my mind go in circles. its exciting and frustrating at the same time. i wonder if being a libra will be my defeat or my triumph

how much direct action to i need to be taking to get what i want in life, and how much will be done on its own?

im thinking a lot about my family and how i just cant wait to see them in 4 weeks. i cant believe it will have been almost a year and half since ive been gone. ive never gone that long without seeing my family. i mean, after a while you start to lose track of how much time actually goes by and it doesnt seem like that long. it really hasnt been that hard for me. but when i really think about it, it HAS been a fucking long time. im not even going to recognize my little sister. and i feel like everyone else will look pretty different too. and i wonder how i will look to them, if i will look older, or ..wiser mwahaha. anyways, i cant wait to see my baby boo