im going out of my fucking mind. i cant believe only a week has passed..its been the longest week ever..and i still have 2 more to go. and what pisses me off the most is that this is my favorite month..everything is so pretty and colorful and halloween is coming up soon. but i cant enjoy it because im too busy racking my brain over something i have absolutely no control over at this point. how do i keep my mind off of it?? i read all day long...study...but it doesnt really help. im trying to remember what it was like last year, and i wonder if this time around its better or actually more stressful. i guess its the same..i dunno. because just like this time last year, i have absolutely no motivation to leave the house or hang out with friends. just stay in my room...read...watch law and order..repeat.
last year at the old apartment i had the heavy wooden blinds on the windows that kept all light out of my room when they were pulled down. i would stay up all night, till 7am when alex was getting up for work..watching episodes of the wonder years and daria on youtube..and then i would try to get through a little bit of war and peace, which around the middle of book 1 always succeeded in making me pass the fuck out. ( i must have redone that section a million times.) i would then sleep all day...my room staying dark the whole time because of the heavy blinds. then stay up all night, eating whole boxes of cereal and watching tv again. i guess at least i dont have to camp outside the visa office in the freezing cold again.
fuck i need to go to sleep so i can get up and work in the morning. how can i keep my sanity until november 2nd?? i wish david was still here :( other david comes on friday for a week...i guess he can help me by cooking me lots of awesome food every day :) gahhhhh. goodnight
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