i hate the feeling that comes at the end of a good visit from someone i care about...from an old friend, love or family member.. even if the visit is only a day or two, i develop an attachment...and after the person leaves, i feel like my other half is gone. i say goodbye, go back to my house..and everything is as it was before, empty..that lonely sinking feeling comes into my chest, and i sit on my bed and i think "ok, they're gone..its so quiet...what do i do now?" i struggle hard but finally find the motivation to go back to my daily real world routine with my responsibilities and my struggles.. and soon it feels normal again
right now im looking for that motivation. i have to do work, and i have to get my fucking shit together for the visa office. i was just reminded yesterday that i am supposed to be working for more than one company in order to be a freelancer...that completely escaped my mind this whole past year and so ive only been working for the one company because i make enough money just doing that. but yea..we will see what they say about that. ughhhhhhhhhhh. i feel totally exhausted right now. falling asleep as i type this
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